We each encounter turning points in our lives.
Sometimes they arise naturally, like a special birthday (i.e. 65). Sometimes they are pleasant (a wedding). And sometimes that aren’t so pleasant (a divorce). Sometimes we make them happen (a sabbatical) and other times they happen to us (a diagnosis). Sometimes we anticipate the coming of a turning point (New Year’s Eve) and sometimes, perhaps a lot of the time, we don’t realize that a turning point occurred until we look back.
There’s no inherent nature of these events as turning points. That is something we infuse into the event. It’s an interpretation we add. We can take any day or date, like National Convenience Store Day, and decide that is a good day to be a turning point in our lives.
(I made that up, but it raises the question, “Why isn’t there a National Convenience Store Day that we can celebrate?) Next Monday, you could walk into a Seven Eleven and order a dried out slice of pizza as a precursor to moving to Cambodia and becoming a Buddhist monk.
Every 5 to 10 years, Linda and I design a 24 to 48-hour retreat. We go somewhere different, conducive to stepping back from our lives. We bring plenty of papers, pads, sticky notes, pens, markers, and spiritual readings. The purpose of this event is to consider how we should move forward in our lives.
This pause for reflection generally has no predictable outcomes. It may lead to us adopting a child (we did that), writing a book (we did that), or decluttering and getting rid of 90% of our stuff (uh . . . we’re working on that one).
For the past 35 years I’ve been practicing and teaching a Japanese method of self-reflection called Naikan. Naikan is based on a reflective practice that involves questions which you contemplate. Over time I’ve become a big fan of questions. Questions, when considered sincerely, open up possibilities. Often, we move through life without pausing, reflecting or considering possibilities. We may find ourselves stuck in the same pattern of living and doing. Questions offer the possibilities of new paths.
So we like to use questions as the foundation of our mini-retreat. This year, we’re developing those questions ahead of time. I’m turning 70 next year and Linda is already there. It seems like a good moment to make another turning point. Below, I’ve listed some questions from our list.
I’d like to invite you to suggest a question or two for us. Just sent us a quick email or, if you’re reading this on social media, post it in the comment section. You might come up with the question that helps us move forward in a profound way. Who knows? You might also tailor some questions for your own life. Maybe a meaningful turning point is about to appear on your path. We look forward to hearing what you come up with. Here’s a few of the questions on our list, so far:
- What are the most important and meaningful things for us to do while we still have reasonably good health?
- How do we make sure our work with the ToDo Institute and Japanese Psychology will continue after we are gone?
- If we both die soon, what arrangements do we need to make for Betty’s care? (our puppy)
- If either of us die soon, how and where would the other person live?
- What are the biggest threats to our quality of life and how do we minimize them?
- How do we sustain close relationships with the people in our lives whom we cherish?
Next time you see a Seven Eleven, consider the possibilities. That dried-out slice of pizza might just change your life.
Well, . . . not necessarily in a good way.
But, you never know.
Gregg Krech has been studying and teaching Japanese Psychology for over 30 years. He is the author of five books, including Naikan, A Natural Approach to Mental Wellness and The Art of Taking Action. Gregg will be conducting a 30-day program, Living on Purpose, beginning on Jan. 8th, 2025, with assistance from Loraine Rickard-Martin.
