The Unfinished Chapter of this Messy World

The Unfinished Chapter of this Messy World
by Gregg Krech

Each day that we are lucky enough to wake up, we face the uncertainty of what will happen.

But most of us don’t really think of the day’s arrival as being a package of uncertainty.  We may think we’ll get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, take a hot shower, make some fresh coffee, and drive to work.  We expect to spend the day in meetings and work on our computer, then drive home and have dinner with our loved ones, or by ourselves, with some Norah Jones music in the background.

According to Dzigar Kongrul Rinpoche:

“All of us, whether we want to or not, live in a bubble. This is our own version of reality, created by our ego, which is always turning away from the open-ended nature of how things are and trying to maintain the familiar. Most of the time, we are able to keep this sense of familiarity intact. Everything in our bubble is fairly predictable and seems to make sense. Even if we’re going through a hard time, at some level we’re able to hold it all together. . . . Whatever kind of life we have, we have our own version of a bubble. It’s our default way of being, and most of the time, we don’t even realize it.”

Everyone’s life today started on a particular page and we never really know what’s on the next page until the page is turned.  Then we see the only reality that offers us certainty, the reality of this very moment, this sentence, the word you are reading right now.

It’s often a moment that we miss, because our mind is thinking, or worried, about the future.  What’s going to happen five pages from now? What’s the theme of the next chapter?  How does the story end?

We’re currently faced with a turbulent world situation. No one knows what is going to happen.  We have fears, ideas, plans, but there isn’t one person who knows what is going to happen on the next global page, or national page, or personal page.  We are not in control, and we don’t know what will happen.  Of course we are NEVER in control, and we NEVER know what will happen, but this seems like a bitter truth that is very hard to swallow right now.

For some of us, our bubble has already burst.  Many more fear that their bubble will burst soon.

So how do we cope?

What if you go out to your favorite restaurant, and here’s what the menu offers:

Uncertainty, Anxiety, Fear, Lack of Control, Confusion, Anger and Depression.

May I take your order?

You can run out of the building and find another restaurant, but the menu may be the same, depending on the uncontrollable circumstances of life that day.

There are times when all the available choices are challenging and none are appealing.  We’ve all been there individually, and right now many of us are there collectively.  No matter what we order, no matter which way we go, there are risks and consequences, discomfort and agitation.  How do we proceed?

First, we have to accept the reality that is right in front of us at this very moment.  Start with your life, your body and your immediate surroundings.  If you just take two minutes and put your attention on the present moment, you will find that there are things about this moment that please you and things you don’t like.  Right now I’m pleased by the light streaming in eleven windows on the main floor of the ToDo Institute where I work.  I’m enjoying that light for many reasons.  I’m displeased by stacks of books and papers on the square living room table in front of me which functions as my desk.  It’s a mess.  Who did this?  Oh . . . I did.

There is a difference between the table in front of me being a home to piles of books and papers and my displeasure of it.  This table, as I’ve described it, is not inherently displeasing.  The table and its contents are reality as it is.  The displeasure is what I’ve added.  There is the fact and then there is the emotional and cognitive color that my mind has added.  This may not seem that important, but it actually opens up a very different understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

Is it possible to be faced with a situation that is unacceptable and accept it?  

When I was in Costa Rica I was offered an opportunity to eat a termite.  It’s not something I would order off the menu.  But I tried it.  I declined seconds.  If I had to eat termites to survive, to keep from dying, I think I could do it.  Possibly. Or maybe not.  I’ll let you know if I’m ever in that situation.

To accept something is to stop struggling with it.  To stop struggling with the fact of it.  To turn toward the truth that you find so painful and step up to it, eye to eye.  No matter how much you may wish things were different, they’re not different. They are as they are.  To see things as they are and accept it, sounds easy.  But it’s not necessarily easy.

We need to align ourselves with the truth of what we are dealing with first, before we can summon an appropriate response.  

It’s not easy to know the truth of reality beyond what we can experience directly.  That’s because information is coming to us indirectly.  From friends, from social media, from people who are journalists or read the news.  Some of the information is intentionally not truthful.  Some of it has elements of truth, but the person has added their own emotional coloring, based on what pleases and displeases them.

Discovering the truth, discovering the reality of what has happened is harder now than it was 25 or 30 years ago.  That frustrates me.  But I need to accept it and act accordingly, which means confirming information from different sources.  Even so, I’m limited in my efforts.  We all are.

What do we need to do? 

Many of us our confused and impatient.  Confusion is good.  Impatience is, in part, a consequence of vital energy.  They are uncomfortable states, but not devoid of value

We need to reach deep within ourselves and find capabilities that may have been sleeping for a long time.

We need to work with our attention skillfully. Where we direct our attention is our experience of life.

We need to sharpen our skill at reflecting on ourselves and noticing how our conduct impacts on others. We know people in the world are suffering.  How are we contributing to that suffering in our speech, our neglect, our actions? Examine your own values.  Do you value kindness, compassion and fairness?  Do you value free speech, wealth and survival of the fittest?  What are your values?  Do you have a different set of values for your family and inner circle than you do for people outside that circle?  Connect and support people and institutions who share your values.

We need to recognize the blessings that we encounter throughout the day so we don’t feel like life is only suffering, tragedy and disappointment. Even in a refugee camp, where I once worked, there are moments of joy.

We need to act constructively and compassionately in the face of fear and anxiety and empower ourselves by taking action rather than just reading about suffering. Do something, even if it is small or seems insignificant.

We need to find something purposeful and meaningful to live for each day and not let our feelings carry us off into a dungeon of depression or hopelessness.

We are capable of all this and more.  We are capable of rising to the occasion. It is what we need to do. It is always what we need to do.  The occasions (circumstances) change.  So what we do to “rise to them” must also change.

There is no certainty to the circumstances of our personal lives or the world.  There never has been.  I look back on the Vietnam war, on Watergate, on my father’s unexpected death, on my emergency heart surgery.  I read all those chapters.  I know how they ended.  So now they seem to have a quality of certainty and clarity.  But the circumstances today, both personal and global – that chapter isn’t finished.  Everything is still uncertain, up in the air.  I’m curious what role my character plays in this crazy, chaotic world of bursting bubbles.

We’ll see.